We planned to pack this week's Placemat with hard news, insightful commentary and vital information about the NHS. Instead you'll have to settle for some moderately ill-informed banter and a few jingles.
Dr Mike Smith, John Bennett and Julian Patterson discuss Matt Hancock's Chinese room service bill and the almost equally impressive cost of the test and trace system. They also answer the question on everyone's minds: which member of the Loose Women team will replace Simon Stevens as NHS chief executive?
A rare moment of gravitas is provided by special guest Joe Rafferty, chief executive of the Mersey Care mental health trust, who talks about his work with the Zero Suicide Alliance.
We also get a quick masterclass from health policy expert Andy Cowper on what NHS England does and why.
Plus another few minutes in the company of arguably the NHS's favourite doctor Pete Turton and another enduring classic from our popular regular feature Virtue Signal of the Week.